psychologist, Believe on the other can work wonders
Duluth / Bern (pte/20.12.2010/06: 05) - Who needs urgent support comes, is often calculated on the people who want to help him. Consciously experienced assistance can make people vulnerable and anxious, while strengthening invisible help and appeased. The researchers at the University of Minnesota http://www1.umn.edu report in the journal Psychological Science.
collection is counterproductive
The researchers were 85 couples in front of the video camera, discuss what they would like to change in their relationship. One partner had to be here to endorse the other through encouragement or expressions of interest. Trained observers watched the video and decide whether the help was always visible or not. Those who had received invisible help but believe that they had received less support. At the same time they were less angry or anxious than those in which the help was obvious.
for the Bernese development psychologist August Flammer http://www.psy.unibe.ch this is to point out that people can collect revenue not like, even if this is done by support. "I feel that someone wants to pursue with his kindness and effort, his own goal, then this help often have the opposite effect," press release with respect to the expert. "Reactance" of this principle is in behavioral psychology.
lovers can paint suddenly
same issue in the experiment but also with faith in themselves, the technical term "self efficacy". "People will get the best performance when they overestimate themselves easily. This makes them competent, enterprising and satisfied with itself the most successful that, too. Who the other hand, even assesses realistic or even underestimated shows rather depressive tendencies" said Flammer.
the best aid supplies, therefore the one who gives the other with a lot of empathy and acceptance of realistic confidence in his abilities. "It is about giving the other a little bit to give advance. An extreme example is in love. Many who feels that his partner believes in him will suddenly creative and painted some pictures, illustrates the expert.
Too much praise the self-
lowers How important is the form of assistance, including pain medicine is known. can who as a member behaves too caring and patient unpleasant activities always decreases, it means good, more difficult for him, however long that getting along in everyday life. Depressive tendencies and even pain is worse because even Dresden researchers have shown. positive effect on the other hand social and emotional support.
Finally, self-efficacy also important for the education. "Social actions have a meaning that is always interpreted. This reduces some of the self-esteem of children who are praised for a performance that in truth it is an easy task," said Flammer. Praise - but also blame - should always properly metered and adequate.
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